Sometimes in life, you do not choose whom to fall in love with as your heart might play tricks on you. But what do you do if you find yourself in a fixed situation where you fall so much in love with your best friend’s fiancé though you didn’t call for it?
You wish your best friend well and wants to see him or her happy, but on the other hand it pricks your heart in the most genuine way whenever you see them together.
Thankfully, none of them knows about the situation so how will you help yourself?
Accept your situation and deal with it
You will have to accept the situation you are in, so you can reflect and come up with ideas on how you can help yourself. Be in control of your emotions and constantly remind yourself of your position in that relationship. Also consider your relationship with your friend and how any careless move you make can hurt her. When you love someone, you wouldn’t want to hurt them. Remember that what you feel will only be for a moment. Times and seasons pass and this situation shall also pass. Deal with it. Consciously tell yourself you cannot have the person no matter what.
Arguably, but sometimes out of sight can lead to out of mind. A continuous admiration might have led to the development of the love for your best friend’s fiancé. So to stop this, distant yourself from them but don’t make it so obvious. Keep yourself busy and get involved with something worthwhile that will limit your appearance between them. I would suggest that you intentionally distract yourself with a task that will take your time; something that will add value to you in the end. Whatever be the case, distance yourself for period of time till you get over your feelings.
Don’t be so involving and curious about their relationship activities
Don’t be too inquisitive to know about their dates and their next point of action, and what exactly is going on in their relationship. Avoid questions such as, why didn’t he come around? Be intentional about reducing your concern or checks about them.
Don’t act on your feelings
Matters of the heart are serious matters. Don’t be hard on yourself when you fall in love with your best friend’s fiancé. You have chosen your best friend as your “best” because of the unique bond that exists between you two. Don’t trade that bond because you found yourself in an unlawful love. You don’t have to act on your feelings. Once you don’t act on your feeling and fuel it, there is no way it can grow. Try as much as possible to “kill” the love if you can, and with time, you will be fine.
Wish the best for your best friend
As much as possible, wish the best for your best friend though you find yourself in a tough situation. Good things will find it’s way towards you if you have a good spirit. Also try not to show so much care especially when your best friend starts treating the fiancé bad. Pray that things gets well between them, but never for a moment wish for a breakup so you can occupy that space. Do not entertain jealous and mischievous thoughts, it will lead you into trouble.
Know your position as a child of God
Whether a Christian or not, love is not self-seeking. It doesn’t dishonor others and doesn’t delight in evil. Love protects the interests of others and once you know your position as child of God, you will want to be a good representative of Christ to the people around you. Don’t cause evil if you claim the love you feel is genuine. Remember that the spirit of God wouldn’t lead you to covet something that is not yours. Your best friend’s fiancé is not yours. You have the spirit of self control as a child of God to control that feeling.
Seek godly counsel
There is nothing new in this life. Someone might have gone through a similar situation you might be facing or knows someone who have gone through it. Seek counsel from people who can help you see the different sides to your feelings.
Whatever the outcome of your feeling and the unexpected turn up of events, do well to stay positive.