Is it time for relationship therapy? What to do in a relationship when you are not happy
Unhappy young couple having crisis and difficulties in relationship

The truth is not everyone in a relationship is happy. There are a lot of people in relationships who are not happy in the relationship at all.

Some are still in such relationships because they’ve been in it for so long that they don’t want to end it now and the thought of starting over with someone new seems a bit much.┬áBecause in this relationship they are familiar with their partner and they’ve invested so much time and energy in it.

Others are still holding on to the relationship because there are kids involved, and they don’t want to leave if that will negatively impact the lives of their kids.

There are so many other reasons why people are still in relationships even if they are unhappy.

Is it time for relationship therapy? What to do in a relationship when you are not happy
Unhappy at odds couple sitting on psychotherapy session

Four Signs you are unhappy in your relationship

Below are 4 signs that you might be unhappy in your relationship.

  1. You are not happy to see them

If you are in a relationship with someone you love, then you should be happy to see them or spend time with them. In fact, the mere thought of seeing them should excite you. But if you find yourself not excited to see them or to find ways and excuses to avoid them, then you should know you are not happy in the relationship.

If a text or a phone call from your partner doesn’t make you smile, and instead you roll your eyes or make negative remarks, then you are not happy to be with them.

2. You have nothing to talk about with them

When you stop sharing what happened in your day or having conversations with your partner, then you should know something is wrong. Because if you are in a happy relationship, you want to tell your partner almost everything that happened in the day. Starting from the guy on the bus who stole your seat to that coworker who pissed you off at work today. You want to share it all with them.

3. You are no longer interested in sex

Yes, sex is not all that a relationship is about. But sex is an indicator that you are in a healthy and happy relationship. If you realise you no longer initiate sex and even if your partner does the initiating, you are just not interested, and you don’t want to do it, then you should know you are not happy in the relationship.

4. You think of being with someone else

It’s totally normal to find someone other than your partner attractive. But if you always find yourself thinking about being with someone else because you feel they will be better than your partner, then that means you are not happy to be in the relationship.

Whether you find yourself thinking of someone completely new or thinking of getting back together with an ex-lover, then you are not happy in your current relationship.

What to do when you are not happy in your relationship

  1. Figure out why you are unhappy

Now that you know you are not satisfied in your relationship, you have to figure out why that is. Is it because of something your partner is doing or not doing? Or is it you? It can also be something that isn’t directly caused by either of you or the relationship.

It can be due to work stress, or financial problems or some other thing but you are only projecting your feelings on your partner because they are the ones closest to you. So figure out what is making you unhappy.

2. Communicate your feelings

Now that you’ve figured out why you are unhappy, it is time to let your partner know how you are feeling and why you are feeling that way. It takes two to build a relationship.

So if you find out what is making you sad in the relationship, it is essential to let your partner know. Once your partner knows, you can both figure out how to make things better in the relationship.

3. Seek relationship therapy

If after communicating and working on the relationship together, you are still not happy, then it is time to seek the help of a professional. Get couples therapy via BetterHelp.com. This is an indicator that even if you are unhappy, the relationship means a lot to you and you are ready and willing to make things right.

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