Every healthy relationship is built on the foundation of trust. People develop a certain kind of acquaintance with others over time before they can start trusting them. But once that trust is broken, it is mostly hard to rebuild.
Losing trust in your relationship can be due to a myriad of reasons. Regardless of what the reason might be, it is possible to rebuild trust after a betrayal though it will happen at a gradual process. There is the need for you to protect your mental health, and whether or not you’ve been hit with the unexpected blows of mistrust, therapy can help you achieve the freedom you desire.
Infidelity in marriage or a relationship is not the only thing that can lead to a loss of trust, though a very common determinant. Couples sometimes lose the trust their partner had for them because they weren’t there when most needed. At other times, repetitive behaviour like frequently lying or being emotionally manipulative when you do something terrible can lead to the loss of trust. Trust is a choice, and once people feel you deserve it, they will give it to you entirely.
To rebuild the trust you once enjoyed in your relationship; there is the need to understand why it was broken in the first place. Therapists usually need to understand this, so they know the kind of help to give you. The first thing to decide on is whether or not you are considering individual therapy or group therapy (with your spouse). Whatever type you want to attempt, here are some excellent ways therapy can help you.
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1. Help you analyse what led to the loss of trust
It is normal to have a different view of your relationship once trust has been broken. The thought of being betrayed can hurt, but there is no need to dwell on the past if you want to genuine work on rebuilding trust. There is the need to talk about the possible causes; and whether you were the one that messed up hence lost your partner’s trust or you are the one that was betrayed, your therapist can help you consider the reason behind the betrayal.
People have motives behind the things they do. It is therefore essential for couples seeking therapy in this regard to make each other understand why respecting their physical and emotional boundaries can help the relationship thrive, analyse your mistakes and what you both need to rebuild the trust.
2. Help you separate past problems from future fears
When you seek therapy in the process of rebuilding trust in your relationship, it can help you separate past problems from future fears and answer some questions that you might be sceptical about. For instance, questions like; once my partner cheated on me, there is a high possibility that a similar thing can happen in future. What will happen if I encounter the same difficulty in future?
Therapists frequently make couples seeking therapy understand how remaining positive as an individual and being transparent to each other in the relationship can help them in the process of rebuilding trust. Seeking therapy can also make them understand the reason why they have to shirk off the fears they might have, give them the benefit of the doubt and ultimately lead to them giving their partner a second chance.
3. Guide you through to the resolution of the issues that trouble you
Therapists are mostly concerned about your mental health. Because of that, they will have time to hear you out as you communicate your fears, your illusions and irrational thoughts. They also allow couples to interact angrily and hurtfully during the sessions at the same time, keeping the sessions emotionally safe. The therapist is not there to take sides but is there to convey a perspective that enhances the self-esteem of the couples.
Some couples will rather keep how they feel to themselves rather than letting their partners know because they are afraid of being misinterpreted. Therapy will help you in this period because your therapist will always be there to listen to you and most importantly guide you through to the resolution of the things that troubles you.
Whether or not you believe in the phrase, it takes two to tango, your partner and yourself have a hand to play in the relationship. Hence, there is a need to bury your differences and work out a compromise. Seek not to play the blame game if the relationship is important to you and rebuilding trust is your sole focus. Also, couples can seek help from renowned counselling sites such as ReGain or any other site known for their therapeutic services. Your beautiful relationship doesn’t have to die because trust was once broken. Give your partner another chance to trust you or be trusted, and give yourself another chance to be happy.