After dating for a significant amount of time and saying your I Do’s, you may think that the next phase of living together will be a breeze. While there are a handful of couples that absolutely get along well while living together, most couples have their fair share of issues — and that is completely normal. Though you may think that you know all of your partner’s bad habits and quirks, moving in with them will often cause many other disagreements to arise. Couples may start getting irritable with each other, and soon, living together may just seem like a bad idea altogether. But fear not, in order to live harmoniously with your partner, follow these tips and turn the negative energy into a positive one.
1. Allocate household chores fairly
Regardless of whether your partner is a stay-home wife/husband or a full-time workaholic, it shouldn’t affect whether they are dumped with or spared from household chores. Household duties should be shared no matter how busy any of you are, to ensure that both parties feel equally responsible for caring for the house. Start to learn what chores your partner prefer doing, and hopefully, your likes and dislikes complement each other. If not, be sure to make compromises and come to a consensus on which household duty each of you is in charge of. On that note, it is important to be mindful to not be calculative. If your partner fails to carry out her duties because of an exceptionally long day at work, offer to do her share and vice versa. Give and take is important in maintaining amicable ties when living together.
2. Give personal space
Living together does not mean that the two of you have to be physically glued together every minute at home. Having your own personal space is vital in allowing you to breathe and have some alone time. Couples are recommended to find their own favorite spot in the house — it can be a little reading deck by your bay window or a comfy couch by your nightstand. Find somewhere to call your own and retreat to that space every now and then to indulge in some alone time. Giving each other personal space is highly important in giving yourself time to recharge, thus giving you more capacity to go back into your partner’s arms and shower your partner with attention and love.
3. Incorporate different styles
It is very likely that both of you will not agree on every single piece of furniture or decor for your house. Having different styles is normal and actually healthy in maintaining your own individuality. Once again, compromise! If your partner wants to spruce up the kitchen to his own liking, ask if you could do the same for the living room. It does not necessarily have to be an entire room catered to either one of your styles, and can instead be just a single piece of furniture that you like. The most important thing is to come up with a design plan for the house that both of you like, and working towards a shared space that both of you will look forward to coming home to at the end of every long day.
4. Communicate openly
Regardless of whether you are living with your spouse or not, communication is definitely key in cultivating and maintaining a healthy and blissful relationship. When you two become roommates, communication is extra important as the little things that annoy you will soon accumulate and intensify, especially if their living habits get on your nerves. Openly discuss who takes out the trash today, or which toilet is due for a clean. Are his clothes always lying around on the bedroom floor? Or is her habit of not putting the seat down starting to bug you? Whether it is anything good or bad, having open conversations is very important in helping you two cohabit harmoniously. Voicing your opinions is always crucial — your partner can’t read your mind and neither can you read theirs!
5. Keeping things tidy
Having your things strewn everywhere on the counter and on the floor is definitely going to irritate your partner at some point, especially when it gets in the way of them moving around easily or finding their own things. Having proper places to store your own belongings will definitely make living together so much easier, and it also generally alleviates the mood when you come home to a clean and organized apartment. Allocating proper places to keep your makeup will help you to locate them easily while finding a place to keep his endless number of ties will help him to be more organized. Finding spaces to store your own belongings that work for both of you will not only make finding your items hassle-free, but it will also avoid making your partner annoyed by the mess on the ground.
6. Manage your expectations
Do not believe the movies when you see couples moving in and complementing each other perfectly while having breakfasts in bed every single morning and ending each night with warm cuddles. While these are somewhat true, real-life is not always a bed of roses. You have to anticipate the stresses of moving in together, and frequent bickering over the nitty-gritty. You will have good days, but you will also have your fair share of bad days. Make sure that you are aware that fights are bound to happen and you may not always see eye to eye. Despite all these, have the patience to talk things out calmly with your partner when this happens, and learn to love the process of it all.
7. Settle arguments quickly
When couples are living together, leaving arguments unresolved longer than they should, can be awkward and rather damaging to the relationship; especially since they see each other at every waking moment (apart from work). One rule of thumb is to never go to sleep angry. If you and your partner are in the midst of an argument, hashing it out before bed will benefit your relationship in the long run. Another good tip is to strictly leave all bad energy out of the bedroom and squabble all you want in other areas of the house. The bedroom should be a comforting respite instead of a place that allows bad energy to linger. If you and your partner adhere to these rules, living together will be a breeze.
Apart from the possible disagreements and occasional quarrels that may arise, moving in together with the love of your life should be something that you two anticipate and look forward to. Though these tips may seem a little daunting, these pointers will come naturally to you as long as you and your partner love one another. Both of you might even argue about the type of furniture to buy for your house. This may be tricky, considering that there are plenty of options out there; but there are certain items that you should undeniably incorporate into your living space. Things like neat shelves, vertical column radiators, and spacious cabinets are just some to name a few. Loving can be hard sometimes, but once you two make a conscious effort to constantly improve yourselves and work on the relationship together, living with each other will soon be the best decision of your life.