Painful sex can be depressing, and in looking for ways to stop it, the first thing to ask yourself is why you experience pain when having sex in the first place. Sex is meant to be enjoyed, and it’s known to be one of the fun aspects of every relationship, especially when done with the ‘right’ partner.
But this can be a nightmare for most people, especially women. What happens when you do not enjoy sex because of the pain that comes with it? To some, this is a temporary problem and might not necessarily need any serious attention. However, to others, this is a daily struggle and torture to what otherwise should be fun and enjoyable.
Experiencing pain during sexual intercourse can be due to a myriad of reasons and can take a toll on any relationship if not adequately dealt with. Research reveals it can be due to gynaecological problems such as ovarian cysts or endometriosis. The pain that is felt due to sex may be felt in your vulva, in the areas surrounding the opening of your vagina or within your vagina.
Below are 9 fun ways to deal with painful sex and begin to have fun with your partner.
Table of contents
1. Psyche yourself up to enjoy it without seeing it as work or an obligation
Sex is psychological as much as it involves physical contact. To stop painful sex, avoid having sex when you are anxious or tired since anxiety can generate a lot of problems for you. And if you only see sex as an obligation towards your partner, you wouldn’t exercise patience when in the act because you would want to finish as soon as you start it.
2. Make sure you’re well lubricated
It is normal to dry up in the course of sex. However, artificial lubricants are a good substitute for natural vaginal secretions. The essence of using lubricants is to make the vagina wet and slippery enough for smooth penetration. Some experts recommend you use water-soluble lubricants and avoid applying petroleum jelly, baby oil, or mineral oil on condoms since they can dissolve the latex and cause the condom to break.
3. Discuss with your partner and maximise foreplay before intercourse
Communication is one driving force in every relationship. When you can communicate your pain to your partner, you will be able to come up with ideas together on how both of you can enjoy sex without pain. You must understand that proper foreplay before any sexual act is halfway to achieving orgasm. And that also helps to reduce the pain you might have since you will be more relaxed to enjoy the best of each other.
4. Don’t rush; take your time and enjoy the ride
One way of having intimacy with someone is through sex. Unless you can reasonably explain why you are rushing during sex, there is no need to. Take your time. No matter how aroused, you are as the man, understand that the goal is to achieve mutual satisfaction. Once you take your time in handling your partner, it will be easier to know how best to fulfil each other without feeling any pain.
5. Seek medical attention
If the pain persists for a more extended period, it is advisable to seek your doctor’s opinion on how to deal with this medically as it might have a medical implication to it. Your doctor can prescribe healthy alternatives to ease the pain.
6. Speak to a psychologist or marriage counsellor
Sometimes you might be experiencing painful sex due to an unforgettable experience or trauma you might have gone through. It is therefore important to speak to someone you trust, a professional such as a counsellor about your challenges. Do not entertain thoughts of ‘pain during sex’. Psychologists have been well trained to handle such issues.
You are not the first to have experienced painful sex. Speak to your psychologist and brainstorm possible reasons you might be having pain. They will most definitively employ their expertise in helping solve your problem in the best possible way.
7. Find your most turned on spot with the help of your partner
With the help of your partner explore parts of your body that ticks you most, as well as activities that put you right in the ‘mood’. Study your body keenly and find what works for you and take it one day at a time.
8. Try other interesting sex positions which does not allow full penetration
There are various sex positions to inculcate in your sex life. However, to reduce pain during sex opt for positions which will allow you to take charge and also give room to control the level of penetration and thrust. Avoid positions that will cause discomfort. This can help stop or decrease pain during sex.
9. Sex should be with someone you’re sexually attracted to
Having sex with someone you’re sexually attracted to makes you more relaxed therefore it is prudent that you have sex with someone you love and feels alright to do so with. Stop if you don’t want to continue anymore and let your partner understand that as well.
If sex is a no go area for you because you just can’t bear with the pain, do not compromise on your happiness. Talk to your partner if there is the need to because sex is meant to be enjoyed and not to be endured.
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