As a professional matchmaker with 12 years of experience who runs a matchmaking agency that specialises in international dating, together with our leading psychologist, I have created a list of practical tips. This list of dating advice will process your whole being, making you suitable for the person you’ve been longing, regardless of your age.
1. Forget the popular cliché – “age is just a number.”
Numerous marketers have created this stereotype for the popularization of international dating sites. Of course, it is easy to believe in “attractive stereotypes” when you open a pay-per letter dating site, and without creating a decent profile with a good photo you already receive hundreds of letters from beautiful much younger girls who claim they “prefer older men”.
When you are in your 40s even if you are in better physical shape than you were in your 20s while now you eat better, work out and take care of your health – you are still in your 40s. Perhaps they still ask to see your ID when you enter a bar or order a drink, but this doesn’t change your age, and it matters to a woman next to you. So, don’t get deceived by smart, catchy marketing.
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2. Be smart about your strategy and think long-term.
Many of our male clients during the first consultation claim they need to date much younger ladies (more than 10 years younger). They often tell a similar story: “I was too busy getting my education, climbing the career ladder or building my business”, “I didn’t actually have time to meet women, or it was not a priority”, “it just never happened”, etc. So, such never married gentlemen in their 40s assume while they were “busy” with other priorities their “love life” was “on hold” and now they can simply push the “play” button and resume seeing someone in their 20s or early 30s.
Ok, let’s assume you have met a 26 years old girl who believes “guys her age don’t know how to treat her”, while it is possible to wow this girl with your life experience since she didn’t have enough time to live through her own, think about the long-term perspective. What happens in 5 years when you push 50? She gets some life experience and finds out you are not a “Prince charming”, your sex drive is different though many men might fight tooth and nail to prove they are better than boys in their 20s and young gentlemen in their 30s. We are not sugarcoating here.
3. Make sure you are on the same page.
How does she plan to live through the next 5 years? To build a career, to surf in Thailand or to move to India, or to change the direction and instead of becoming a lawyer to study photography? Does she want to have kids and get married within the next 5 years? Maybe in 10 years? Does it align with your plans?
4. Be prepared to date ladies who already have been married and have kids.
Ok, many men in their 40s prefer to date younger, because in their opinion then they won’t have to deal with “the baggage” and it must be easier.
We have already discussed with you the cliché “age is just a number”. Don’t fall for it. Embrace your age and the fact you should have dated 22 years old girls when you yourself were 22. Of course, there are couples for whom a relationship with the age gap can really work, but these are exceptions, and the fact you are in your 40s and have never been married doesn’t mean you can attract a girl in her 20s without “the baggage” or that ladies you date should just like you “have no past” like past relationship and kids.
5. Become a friend.
If you are seeing a woman who has children don’t try to become a father to the kids. Try to become a friend.
6. Don’t be afraid to date a woman closer to your age.
At Diolli matchmaking service, we often tell our clients that, the older we become the more expectations we have regarding our life partner. Still, at the same time, we have more practical wisdom which comes from experience. Of course, previous relationships often leave wounds on our hearts but they also teach us valuable lessons.
So don’t be afraid to date someone who has been married before or a woman closer to your age. Her experience will be an advantage for both of you. She can help you build a strong healthy relationship, while a much younger girl usually imagines relationships to be smooth and easy all the time and will expect you to fix all problems and difficulties that will appear, while you are “an adult”. Or simply leaves looking for something less complex because she still has lots of time “to find the one”.
7. Challenge yourself with dating a woman in her middle 30s and up.
If you are in your 40s challenge yourself with dating a woman in her middle 30s and up. It will be more complicated than it seems because such a lady will have a certain level of expectations and you won’t be able to wow her with a single fact that you are just “older”. But such a challenge will bring out your creativity and romantic side. It can help you grow as a man and learn more about yourself and what women really want.
8. Pay attention to the involvement of a lady.
If you haven’t dated for a while because it was not your priority a piece of practical dating advice is to pay attention to the involvement of a lady into building your relationship. Does she answer your texts at once? Does she make an effort to find the time to meet you? Does she ever text you first?
9. Analyse expectations.
You have your list of qualities you want to see in your partner, but the lady in front of you has hers. Do you have the qualities she wants to see in the partner? What does she expect from a relationship? Can you exceed these expectations?
10. Be very honest about your reasons.
A professional international matchmaker must conduct a necessary individual interview with you before providing you with any services and an important tip is to be very honest about your reasons to choose international dating and the type of lady you want to meet. Be extremely honest with your matchmaker and with yourself. The fact she is 15 years younger and is blond doesn’t guarantee she wants to have your babies and will be a good wife. That’s your ego talking and not your brains.
We wish you luck and wisdom in your search and don’t forget to invest all your love into the right person.
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