We can all agree that it is not easy to be in any kind of relationship. Whether you are just dating or you are a married couple, it is not always going to be sunshine and laughter. There are bound to be days where you will both disagree on some issues and also offend each other.
This is because you are two completely different people with different upbringing, different preferences and different personalities. You may have things in common with your partner alright, but that doesn’t make you the same person. So things can go wrong sometimes.
That is why engaged couples should go for marriage counselling before they get married. Doing this will help you both to understand each other better and learn how to react in certain situations. That way, when any problem arises in the marriage, you know what to do. Sites like ReGain offer pre-engagement therapy which is very useful for couples.
Even if you didn’t go for couple’s therapy before getting married, you could always do that after marriage, especially if things are going wrong in the union and you need help to save your marriage. If you are not married or engaged, but you are having problems in your relationship, you can still go for couple’s therapy because couple’s therapy is not just for married couples.
It is for any couple willing to save their relationship. But what if you are ready to go for the therapy, but your partner doesn’t want to give it a try. Below, we will discuss what you can do to get your partner on board.
Ways to get your partner to go for couples therapy
1. Start by yourself
If your partner doesn’t want to go with you to couple’s therapy, start by yourself. You might think since it is a couple thing, there is no need doing it alone because it has to be the two of you. Well, it is best if it is both of you going for the therapy but if your partner isn’t willing, go by yourself.
Doing this will help you to know and understand how to react in certain situations when dealing with your partner. Your counsellor can teach you a lot of things you can do to help your relationship. Even if it is you doing it alone, it will still help the relationship. Rather than none of you doing anything to save the relationship.
Also, once you start going by yourself and your partner sees that certain things are changing in your actions and your relationship, he will realise how important vital couple’s therapy is for your relationship and how much it can help you.
Sometimes, your dedication alone can be enough to change your partner’s mind because it helps them know how important something is to you.
2. Talk about it calmly
After going by yourself for some time, speak calmly to your partner about it. Let them know how much their participation will help. This doesn’t mean you should start blaming them for things going wrong or them not wanting to do something that will help the relationship. That is just the wrong approach.
Instead, concentrate on the right things and how much you want to improve what is right in your relationship and how much their presence will help make things better and easier. Once you are done talking, listen to them too and know what they have to say about the therapy and your relationship.
3. Let your partner choose a therapist
Even if you have a therapist you are already seeing, it is best to let your partner choose a therapist they would rather see. If they are okay with the one you are already seeing, that is good. But if they prefer a new therapist, then let them choose someone they want.
If you both don’t know any other therapists, you can let your therapist know and he can give you a list of other therapists who can help. Give your partner the list and let them choose the therapist they will be comfortable with.
Relationship problems can affect your mental health and have a huge impact on you. So you must try and resolve your issues through marriage counselling even if you have to do it alone.
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