Couple therapy can be a beneficial tool for your relationship or your marriage. But that is if you find the right therapist. Seeing the wrong marriage counsellor can make things even worse for your relationship. So you must make sure the couple therapist you are seeing is the right one for you and your spouse.
A marriage counsellor’s role is just as important as that of you and your partner’s. Some people go for therapy alright and still end up getting divorced. But sometimes, this can be prevented if you find the right therapist. Therapy isn’t cheap, so if you are going to invest in it, you should make sure you are choosing the best couple’s therapist.
How to find the best couple therapist
Well, the best way to find a good couple’s therapist is through recommendations from people you know. That is your family and your friends. When these people recommend a therapist to you, you know they are talking from experience so you can trust their recommendations.
But a lot of people aren’t comfortable in letting their family and friends in on their relationship problems, especially if they are married. So if this is you, you can ask your physician if they can recommend a couple’s therapist to you. Your physician will be very much happy to help because they understand how badly marital stress and relationship stress can affect your mental health. If you are a religious person like a Christian, you can also seek guidance from your pastor. Your pastor can also recommend a great marriage counsellor for you.
You can also search online for a marriage counsellor. Although, if you decide to go with a therapist you found online, you must make sure to read reviews about them to know other people’s experience with them. Usually, any good therapy website should have either a testimony section or a review section to help you know other people’s experience with them. An example of such website is ReGain. You can also find out more about their strategy on their website to help you know if they are right for you or not.
What to look out for in a couple’s therapist
Finding the right couple’s therapist is not just about finding the best therapist; you have to know the right thing to look out for in a couple’s therapist. A couple’s therapist might work great for some couples, but they might not be the best choice for you and your partner for one reason or the other. So these are the things to look out for in a couple’s therapist.
1. Their qualification
Your marriage is an integral part of your life, so if you are going to rely on someone to help you build and strengthen your marriage, it should be someone with the qualifications to do so. Don’t be shy or afraid to ask your therapist if they are qualified to do couple’s therapy.
A therapist might be good with individuals, but they might not be able or qualified to handle couples. So you have to make sure that the therapist you are choosing is qualified to counsel couples. Also, it will be best to go with someone with years of experience in the field instead of putting the fate of your relationship or marriage in someone who is just a beginner.
2. Their values
Another vital thing to consider in a couple’s therapist is their values. You should go with a neutral counsellor. Someone who wouldn’t take sides and make one of you feel like they are in the wrong or they are being ganged up on. So don’t choose a therapist because they are your friend or you know them from the salon, and you are sure they will take your side. A couples therapist’s primary goal should be to help you both, not just one of you.
You also need a therapist who shares your core values. You need someone who believes in the same things you do. So if you are a Christian who believes that divorce is wrong, then you need a therapist who is also a Christian and shares your point of view. If you are a feminist who believes in equality in marriage, you need a therapist who shares the same values. This way, you wouldn’t feel like your therapist is forcing their values on you.
3. Their strategy
Every therapist have their strategy and approach to things. You have to ask your therapist what plan they are going to use. If you are okay with it, go ahead. If not, then find someone else.
You also have to let your therapist know what you want to achieve from the therapy. That way, you can all work towards a common goal. If you’ve been in therapy for a very long time with one therapist, and you are still not seeing any progress in your marriage, find another therapist who will help you achieve your goals.
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