In recent days, I have been viewed as a fashion guru, a fashionista, a trendy person but the sad truth is that I am not at all.
I have never consciously paid attention to fashion or makeup or little vanities that all women are supposed to adore. I did try a stick of lipstick though but after a while I got tired. I know… I didn’t persevere.
My shoes I must confess are just a pair. This I know is hard to believe but it’s true. I rarely own two wearable pairs at once. When I do, it means a pair is well worn and on the way out. I could never compare to Imelda Marco and her 3000 pair collection. If I were her offspring I would have been a disgrace as far as shoe collections go.
I wear the same clothes over and over again without fail throughout the months. I wouldn’t mind wearing the same dress to church three Sundays in a row and It’s mainly because I forget what I wore the Sunday before.
I don’t follow trends or fads because by the time I notice or hear about them they’re already out of fashion.
So if I have such a poor sense of fashion, how do I become a fashionista?
Accident, my dear, accident.
Let me show you how it works. Wake up late for work and open the closet hoping your fairy god mother has dropped an outfit as you slept and snored the night away.
Snap out of your disappointment when you realize she didn’t think you worth the time.
Start dragging out anything that remotely looks wearable especially those that you disliked with an intensity at one point in time– Like the five- year- old gift jacket a size too big in a color you abhorred.
Check out the skirt you bought at a bend -down-boutique because –-yes, it was cheap.
Pull out all the blouses and groan that nothing matches.
Look at all the dresses and make a mental note to visit your seamstress. Now you are ready. As fast as you can, wear different combinations till you get one that is not such an eyesore or sorry sight.
Put on a pair of pearl earrings and you are good to go.
You will be surprised at the raving reviews.
Oh, by the way, if anyone is so kind to point out that your colours don’t match,
explain it away as colour blocking.
Photo credit: Papa Oppong